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IFEATU'S BUS CHRONICLE: GAME PADS ARE THE NEW STEERINGS

The popular saying when you go to Rome you behave like the Romans does not apply at Lagos Bus Stops when you are new in town.

Opting to ask another responsible looking passenger on the routes a bus conductor is calling out is more advisable than rushing with the mad throng of passengers with the hope that you heard him clearly. This is also what led a friend of mine who had been new in town to board the wrong bus.

The young man was standing enthusiastically for the first time at the popular Iyana-Iba axis as the bus conductor yelled, "Seme! Seme!"

He could bet on his life that he had heard 'CMS!' The rest of the story is being told in our family jokes of how this fellow ended up at Seme, just thirty minutes from Badagry on the coastal road between Lagos and Cotonou.

The bus conductors are rapping the routes they are headed to as usual. I am aboard the 'yellow bus' heading to CMS. I am engrossed with replying messages. Having a long list of messages to reply …
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DIVERSIFY! DONT BE A BORING PIZZA

If I were in need of a pharmacist in my startup and two people showed up with almost same performing ability with one bagging a degree and masters in pharmacy while the other had a first degree plus other qualifications such as marketing, being multilingual and other non-related qualifications. I will pick the latter over the former. 

I remember my mentor once saying she would prefer to employ someone who had diverse skills or qualification as against one who had just one skill or qualification set. I didn't totally understand this at first.  

However, looking at the rise and fall of careers and businesses. It is obvious that the trend of activities change on a daily basis. This paves a way for diversification. 

Diversification is an act of branching out, expanding or broadening one's resources. This is also applicable in investment. However, my focus is on how it applies to human resource. 

Gone are the days when you can rely on one source of income to survive. There is no secure…

IFEATU'S BUS CHRONICLES: ENGLISH AND MATHS ALSO RIDE ON THE YELLOW BUS

It's been raining Elephants and Hippopotamus since last week in Lagos. Today is not a different day either. I take my seat between two big men.

One of the things you should never do during the raining season is to sit by the window of the bus. Chances are if the window has a malfunctioning slide, water will drip on you (If you didn't know this before, drop me a thank you note😏).

Our ride is smooth and cold. Everyone is minding their business and obviously trying to get warm.

The Bus Conductor is abnormally hyperactive. His hoarse voice and prancing about like a mini giant is a sight to behold. I am amused but I am too cold to really observe him well.

The bus pulls up at Coker for a passenger to alight and another one boards.

The driver's stereo is playing gospel songs. This guy must be heavenly, he definitely knows how to start the week. We pull up at Orile again and the hyperactive conductor prances to the driver's window to hand him some naira notes that he had fol…

JOIN A BANDWAGON: COLLABORATION OR STANDALONATION ?

What did you just read? 

Standalonation? Is that English, French, Spanish or Swahili? Accept my apologies because I don't have an answer. 

The above word is my coined word for the opposite of collaboration. I grew up to hear the phrase 'One man show.' Anyone who was termed a 'One man show' was perceived to be some kind of genius, a Superman of his kind. 

Collaboration is known to be the act of working together to achieve a common goal. Effective collaboration is achieved when the results of the team's efforts are greater than those which individual members could achieve on their own. 

Over the weekend, I was opportuned to work with an amazing team on a short film project. We were to write, shoot, produce and edit a short film within twenty hours.
20 Hours? 😳

As soon as I got the call from a childhood friend who was the producer, my eyes popped out. That's a mission impossible! We decided to lay anxiety aside and at least put in the work. 

It took making a few ca…

IFEATU'S BUS CHRONICLE: THE FAMILY IN THE YELLOW BUS

Trade? Yes, trade!

Everyone in Nigeria is an entrepreneur of some sort, or have you not noticed? But there is something I am NEVER going to trade. My peaceful morning!

I love my mornings calm and quiet while I listen to every thought of my heart. 

Today is a gifted day. Calm, serene and dry. I have a suggestion that the rain needs to start sending a memo before it rains, considering it's incessant fall. 

I am seated between two garrulous women. The one on my left is stout and fair while the one on my right is slightly lanky and dark.  The bus zooms on the dry tarred road, the atmosphere is serene, thanks to the garrulous women who have taken a break. 

"Driver, O wa o!' A shrill voice announces in front. 

The driver brings the bus to an abrupt halt. 

"You for don talk since make you stop where him stop before."

"You dey mind am? Just dey waste person time," the fair lady says with a sigh in support. I am tempted to say something in support of the lady who was b…

IT'S MARKET ENTRY DAY! CHOSE YOUR WALKING STEP

We called him "Uncle Sunday (One-leg up)" as kids. He had a funny way of walking that amused us yet thrilled us to imitate him.

On some days, we would tiptoe behind him as we imitated him while he walked past Idris Adebisi Street that accomodated our house. Adults who caught sight of us would chase us but we were not going to be kept away from walking like "Uncle Sunday (One-leg up)."

When we gradually came to our teenage age, I overheard my older cousins talking about him. "Uncle Sunday (One-leg up) walked the way he did not because he was a 'cool guy,' rather it was due to an accident that required a hip surgery to correct his walking step.

I felt ashamed and wished we had never imitated him.

People walk with different gaits. From a shuffle to long strides to a strut, a bounce, a hobble, or even a slight limp. It just takes observation to spot it out. This walking pattern also determines the rhythm and pace at which  people walk.

Producers and serv…

IFEATU'S BUS CHRONICLES: EVEN THE RAIN COMES WITH DRAMA

Early morning rain has an effect on Lagosians. 
I will need to carry out a research to find out if people in other cities experience this too. When the rain falls, it strangely finds its way into the brains of these city people, seeping away every memory of normalcy in their heads.
Drivers and cyclists struggle to pass through the same tiny path that might let only one cyclist pass at a time. Everyone is struggling to pass through the most convenient way, hence we create the dreaded traffic ourselves. This mess is not our making only. The government is a ceremonial head. From the top to the least cadre enjoy the razzmatazz on television talking about laudable project they never accomplished. The Lagos-Badagry express way is a disaster, the government's disaster. It has consumed lives, people's means of livelihood and sanity.
We are beautiful puppets with a meagre right to vote and none at all to desire good governance. So like a bad and insensitive husband, the Nigerian governmen…