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Showing posts from June, 2016

Boomerang 2

Another thing I feel that travels at a fast pace apart from light is sight. I caught a quick glimpse of him from afar, he walked through the crowd lazily in a flowing gown, a mean-looking man, he made a suspicious movement then pulled out a .44 magnum revolver. The speakers were blaring with Chief Obiogbolu's speech. In a swift stunt, he aimed it at Chief and fired.

I dived for my boss and rolled him over on his stomach. I felt his body quake, fear had breathed over him. We laid faced down for a while till the shootings stopped as the law enforcement agents fired shots back at the armed man.

When you are the rabbit that a tiger desires for lunch, the best option for you is to disappear into your burrow. We took the next flight to Lagos. It was obvious that the northerners didn't accept the True Nigerian Party (TNP).

The wonder about being an influential person's guard is that apart from material rewards, you also get to move around a lot. We had just returned from a trip …

A letter from John

My bucket hat donned my head. It served the scorching sun right, my scalp was not one to be burnt for no offense.

I relaxed my tired body against the board of the trawler.

James yelled at me, "Don't just sit there and watch I and father. We will still catch some fishes, you can't just lose hope",he seemed to say.

I peered at him through the corner of my eyes and closed them again. I felt cold water being sprinkled on me and I jerked up. It was father, I had no choice but stand up and join James..

I was not a man who wanted too many things. All I wanted was to catch some fishes yet the little things kept hiding and refusing to walk into the loving embrace of my fishing net. I may not desire many things but I sure desired to be loved not the kind of erotic love some of those Samaritan women would profess to men who lust after whore mongering.

I sought for a love that was pure and chaste. A type that I couldn't even explain. I sought to be loved deeply by God perhap…

Boomerang 1

I was on the fifteenth push-up and thinking of quitting, I shook off the thought and continued till I got to the twentieth and stopped. Sweat trickled down my face, armpits and biceps like water escaping from a cracked rock as my sweat glistened my skin with it's moisture. I walked straight into the wash room.

I turned the faucet,splashed water on my face and stared at the mirror. I might look fierce due to my broad chest, hairless head and wolverine beards but I certainly had eyes that melted the heart. I headed to the kitchen, made myself a cup of coffee and as I lifted the mug to my lips, I felt my phone vibrate.

Strange number! Who could this be? I picked.

"Hello, am I speaking with Thomas Badmus?", the person at the other end inquired
.
"Who am I speaking with?", I asked.

"This is Golgotha security holdings, your resumee has been picked by one of our clients, please can you come in for briefing?"

"Uhmmmm,sure! I will be there in the next o…

This is not fiction

"Agbara! Okoko!", the hoarse voice of the conductor yelled.

He smelled of local gin. His washed brown shirt had lost the first two buttons.

"Aunty, hold your change o...I no get time to look Uche face o", he ranted in his rude horrible voice.

I was irked. What manner of rudeness was that? I swerved to board the next bus.

"Oya! No vex, abeg enter my bus. Aunty mi to sure ju", his lip-praise continued to buzz in my ear.

I took a stern look at him and changed my mind. Just like Aurora in Maleficient, I felt driven by a spell as I moved straight to his bus and boarded. It was unusual to see me seated on the front seat but there I was.

"Boy! Load fast make we waka", the driver drummed into the ears of his loquacious conductor. I slipped out my phone and slided my long finger across the face of my phone as I scrolled down the list of missed calls.

"Horrible hectic day!", I grunted. "Driver! Carry person comot for here nah", I said …

Mrs Woobag

Call her Woobag!
He wooed her to make her a bag
Whose mouth has been gagged
A slum bag filled with punches
Wearied with abuses in bunches
Despised punching bag!

Lengthy love letters turned assassination letters
Man-handled by the man who gave her love's handle
Love remains blind till it gains sight
Woobag's face tells the story when his fury kindle
Who will bring you down from that scary height?

Fair face turned blue
Kicks and slaps await you on a queue
Upon your monster's punch tune
You disappear in a ruin

Your monster
The master in feminine batter
Who like a lobster
Clinched your soul with claws till it splatter

Your phlegm-trickling nose seeds
Watch the master's deeds
Innocence robbed
Will there ever be a refund?

Woobag!
You await the right time and cry in a bag
You may not become an old hag
Till your bridled tongue you wag.

The chronicles of a Jackobian

9:30 pm

I was sure to get there faster if I followed the bush path. It was late but a girl has to do what she's got to do. Those lousy girls in my room back at the hostel would never allow me read, all they ever did was discuss about the latest jamz on trace urban, their boyfriends and the trending hair extensions. If they thought themselves to be some Hollywood celebrities. I was big, bold, beautiful and blessed with brains. The student affairs official that had allocated that room to me was certainly high on something when he did the allocation and I am sure it was something pretty cheap like snuff or local gun powder. I had a target of hitting 5.0 on the CGPA scale that semester and for those girls to think that they could stand in my way. They were on a mission to nowhere. I came here for a purpose and if they came here to waste their time and money..... every mallam with him own kettle.

I took the next turn and transversed down the bush path. I adjusted my glasses to see bett…