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Showing posts from May, 2019

GUESS WHO? I JUST ATTRACTED A NEW READER

"Many of you will not pay your bills from a job that is related to what I teaching you in this class," Mr Iwuala said in his usual didactic tone during an Immunology class.  He was my university lecturer in the Department of Public Health at the Federal University of Technology, Owerri. 
It was my last year in school. A tiny voice within me whispered, "Jay, you are in this category."
How dare you? I swore under my breath during the same class. Every time I reflect on that moment, I just can't help laughing. Truly, I have not been so much involved in the health sector until lately when I started writing health articles to bring my 'prodigal self' closer to home. 
This year, I promised myself to put my thoughts in prints and have people read them amidst giggles, anger, laughter and tears. So, I proceeded to have Ekwensu's Harvest in prints. 


Have you read it?
Reviews and encomiums have been pouring in. I wouldn't lie that I have not been happy abo…

IFEATU'S BUS CHRONICLES: THE YELLOW BUS IS A BATTLEFIELD PREPARATORY ARENA

One of the things you won't be told about sleeping on a Sunday night while listening to Bradley Cooper and Gaga's Shallow is that you will be waking to a blaring alarm and the busy Lagos roads on a Monday. 

It had rained the previous night. The weather is obviously cold. Take a bike and you will  alight with your teeth clattering while your body shivers. So, you take a bus with a mind ready to tackle whatever lurks on the road. 

The road is abnormally free. I am still wondering If I slept past Monday into a Tuesday. 

The passengers are all calm till a lanky guy dressed in brown chinos, a cream coloured shirt to match and black heavy boots makes his way into the bus to sit by me. 

He has his earphones tucked in his ears. 

"Yes?" The conductor says in his hoarse voice after a couple of minutes. The young man casts a rather blank gaze at him and continues to listen to whatever was tingling his ears from the speaker of his phone. 

"Yes?" uttered by a bus conductor in…

IFEATU'S BUS CHRONICLES: A WET DAY AND A SCOOP OF MORNING MADNESS

Monday mornings are a mixture of madness and warmth in Lagos.

I can't say why I always see the good in the bad but I love to keep an open mind about things. Amidst the mad rush on such days, you are likely to bump into familiar faces and meet strangers that become familiar with time and more. 
Today, I woke up energetic. I am making mental notes of what to do for the day asides what I had scribbled down in my blue diary. Yes, I love the colour blue. Everyone who knows me knows that. 
The young man by my right is sleeping. He is probably exhausted, he is carrying a heavy bag. Perhaps he is one of those guys who creep into Lagos for business at the Balogun Market in Lagos Island. 
There are two youngsters by my left - 'an up and about town guy' and a young lady. They are both dressed in jeans, most likely students or interns. I could be wrong but the unwritten law says business clothes are for Mondays. 
I peek through the rearview mirror of the car. The driver has a smile o…

WALK IN EMPTY, WALK OUT WITH A BAG

"I will like to walk into a place empty and walk out with bags," I said with an air of carefreeness. 

"You are on a road trip to being a bandit," My friend chuckled. 

Come to think of it. Only a woman with a gun walks into a place with an empty bag and walks out with a bag full of goodies.  What direction is my merry-go-round talk headed?

The unwanted marksman who never misses a shot in a squad,  the industrious wife of a lazy man whom he never sends away, the arrogant ultra-skilled employee who can't be fired, and the badly behaved yet talented Mario Balotelli of the 2010 Inter Milan squad all have something in common. 

As much as they are not totally indispensable, they had value to offer. This is what kept all the individuals mentioned in place. 

I am no proponent of behaving in an uncultured manner but suffice me to say, that the good, bad and ugly is a triad. 

Value is the leverage that enables you walk in as a nobody with an empty bag and walk out with your hea…

BE GREEDY! GRAB MORE THAN SMALL CHOPS AT YOUR NEXT EVENT

"Click! Click! A shutter sound follows suit.

Jojo takes a more intent stare at the selfie. It was not her perfect shot. She tilts her head, takes a few more shots then heads off to the buffet.

Nodding her head to the beats of the newest song on the town and munching on small chops at an event no doubt made her feel like the coolest kid on the block.  The DJ was the next best thing after strawberry parfait. His playlist was the real deal.

Gradually, guests were soon leaving in skeletal numbers till Jojo thought it was time to go too. She would go home with the DJ's rhythm in her head but without the memory of anyone she had introduced her new startup to.

With the rise and rise of entrepreneurship and the need to advance a career, it is becoming next to impossible to go for an event and come back home without a new name.

As much as we might prefer to wait until we have to attend a seminar, workshop, conference, symposium or masterclass before we can network, every opportunity at a s…