Skip to main content

IFEATU'S BUS CHRONICLE: GAME PADS ARE THE NEW STEERINGS



The popular saying when you go to Rome you behave like the Romans does not apply at Lagos Bus Stops when you are new in town.

Opting to ask another responsible looking passenger on the routes a bus conductor is calling out is more advisable than rushing with the mad throng of passengers with the hope that you heard him clearly. This is also what led a friend of mine who had been new in town to board the wrong bus.

The young man was standing enthusiastically for the first time at the popular Iyana-Iba axis as the bus conductor yelled, "Seme! Seme!"

He could bet on his life that he had heard 'CMS!' The rest of the story is being told in our family jokes of how this fellow ended up at Seme, just thirty minutes from Badagry on the coastal road between Lagos and Cotonou.

The bus conductors are rapping the routes they are headed to as usual. I am aboard the 'yellow bus' heading to CMS. I am engrossed with replying messages. Having a long list of messages to reply to is frightening and that is why a stitch in time saves nine.

Procrastinating your supposed actions come with consequences. I am facing mine. As much as people think I am always on my phone, there are days I honestly feel too sore to have my fast and furious fingers prancing like an excited rabbit on my phone.

I lift my face to observe the people around me. The lady in cornrows by side is snopping over my phone. I am tempted to hand her the phone and ask her to serve herself of whatever she wants to see.

Savagery? Did you think of me being a savage? Every Nigerian has an atom of savagery, it's like an inbuilt attribute.

I close my eyes and make a mental note of what I need to do. The bus is moving at a higher speed.

"Driver, you don dey drive like say na you get main road," a plump lady in a navy blue suit warns.

"If you wan die, abeg go die alone o," another lanky bald-headed man is yelling.

I am praying that this mad driver doesn't get us killed. Passengers are screaming obscenities. The road is free of traffic. It was one reason why he was speeding to get to his destination and return for a subsequent trip.

One of the many things you don't know about Lagos roads is that the drivers think in their heads that they are playing a Grand Theft Auto game and as for the bike riders, they are playing a Subway Surf game.

We approach Costain and the minor traffic is building up in front. He decelerates and I heave a sigh of relief. Vehicles are moving at a snail pace. The passengers are calm with just a few still heaping insults on the driver.

He does not reply them instead he increases the volume of his stereo.

Passenger 1 Vs  Driver 0

Safety 1 Vs  Reckless Driving 0

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

WHY I WON'T BE BUYING ANYTHING AGAIN FOR A LIFETIME

Heads up, people! 

Walking into a shop to purchase an item does not look appealing to me anymore. This is one of my decisions for the new year being that if something is not worth it then there is no point buying it especially trying to impress another fellow. 

I have chosen to stick to buying experiences rather 'things.' One of my observation is that experiences cannot be stolen or compromised. They stick like your gum sap sticks to a tree. 

So maybe before you buy that expensive Emporio Armani wristwatch or Jimmy Choo shoes, it might be imperative to checkmate if there are experiences that same amout can buy you. Don't get me wrong, it is as clear as crystal that you need to shop for clothings, food, phones or luxury from time to time but bear in mind that your happiness can't be tied to any item. That vibe you get is nothing but a fleeting one . 

“One of the enemies of  happiness is adaptation,” Thomas Gilovich reveals. “We buy things to make us happy, and we succeed. B…

NEXT BIG THING: CREATING A NEW WORLD THROUGH MY LENS - KINGSLEY AGORUA

Jim Rohn had his opinion that "If you don't like where you, change it. You are not a tree." Kingsley Agorua had looked around where he found himself and decided to change it to suit his taste through his lens.

My earliest contact with Kingsley should have been in 2012 when I was a student at the Federal University of Technology, Owerri. I spotted him at an event on campus where he was taking photographs.

Little did I know that I would bump into him again at my faculty - The School of Health as a student. I was curious as to what a photographer was doing in my faculty during lecture period. Time will reveal that he was a student too who was madly in love with his camera. This was all before the advent of traditional or nearly compulsory bridal showers, baby showers and pre-wedding shoots in the Nigerian Creative Industry.


Kingsley Agorua is a cinematographer with years of experience from Oguta in Imo state. He studied Dental Technology at the Federal University of Techno…

Valentine for all times

"He just had to go", I yelled inside of me. Dele was too bossy and proud,the rest of the staff looked up to me to ensure he was fired. All I had to do was pull the manager into my seductive web and by morning, Dele would get his termination letter. Anyone who stood in my way always got burnt, I loved to revenge passionately and Dele was certainly not a sacred cow.

The subsequent monday was my birthday, I was hoping there would be a suprise cake or party for me but no soul even wished me a happy birthday. Work went on as every other normal day.
I bent to open my drawer then I saw a parcel with a note attached to it:

I boss you because I want you to be the boss
I have admired you since the day I knew you
Work has to get better but don't ever try to change you.
Lots of love
Dele.

I wept like a baby, that was the only gift I got that day.
Dele was not sacked and they are now proud parents of three kids.

Don't you just love to love? #winks.
Love everyone, everyday!
Happy…