Skip to main content

IFEATU'S BUS CHRONICLES: ENGLISH AND MATHS ALSO RIDE ON THE YELLOW BUS



It's been raining Elephants and Hippopotamus since last week in Lagos. Today is not a different day either. I take my seat between two big men.

One of the things you should never do during the raining season is to sit by the window of the bus. Chances are if the window has a malfunctioning slide, water will drip on you (If you didn't know this before, drop me a thank you note😏).

Our ride is smooth and cold. Everyone is minding their business and obviously trying to get warm.

The Bus Conductor is abnormally hyperactive. His hoarse voice and prancing about like a mini giant is a sight to behold. I am amused but I am too cold to really observe him well.

The bus pulls up at Coker for a passenger to alight and another one boards.

The driver's stereo is playing gospel songs. This guy must be heavenly, he definitely knows how to start the week. We pull up at Orile again and the hyperactive conductor prances to the driver's window to hand him some naira notes that he had folded horizontally.

"Guy, come! E never complete" The driver informs his conductor.

"Na everything I give you so," he shoots back.

"For two trips?" The driver asked looking dazed.

"Oga, no dey use witch disturb me this morning. I don give you all the money wey dey my hand." The conductor insists.

Don't tell me rubbish. I know maths pass you" The driver yells.

"No wonder you no understand English wey I dey blow give you."

It's drizzling.  I am hoping the drama does not extend and binge on my time. If there is one intangible thing I value, it's time.

The driver is vexed. He opens the door and alights. His hands are firm on the conductor's trousers and he is yelling "Oya, give me my money."

Passengers are gradually alighting and helping to separate the conductor from his driver's grip. The driver is refusing to let go. His fingers are clasped around the young man's trousers and he is forcefully yanking it down his thighs.

Crumbled naira notes are falling from his inner shorts. The driver notices it and lands a deafening slap on his cheek.

"Ole! No be today you don dey thief my money" He seals his words with another slap.

Passersby are rushing to the scene. There is a crowd roundabout them trying to calm the situation. The conductor manages to pull away from his grip and breaks through the crowd in a fierce sprint.

"My money still dey him knicker" The plump driver wails.  A group of touts race after him but we all know chasing him is a lost battle.

You lose some battles and win some.

Driver 1 Vs Conductor 1

English 1 Vs Maths 1

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

WHY I WON'T BE BUYING ANYTHING AGAIN FOR A LIFETIME

Heads up, people! 

Walking into a shop to purchase an item does not look appealing to me anymore. This is one of my decisions for the new year being that if something is not worth it then there is no point buying it especially trying to impress another fellow. 

I have chosen to stick to buying experiences rather 'things.' One of my observation is that experiences cannot be stolen or compromised. They stick like your gum sap sticks to a tree. 

So maybe before you buy that expensive Emporio Armani wristwatch or Jimmy Choo shoes, it might be imperative to checkmate if there are experiences that same amout can buy you. Don't get me wrong, it is as clear as crystal that you need to shop for clothings, food, phones or luxury from time to time but bear in mind that your happiness can't be tied to any item. That vibe you get is nothing but a fleeting one . 

“One of the enemies of  happiness is adaptation,” Thomas Gilovich reveals. “We buy things to make us happy, and we succeed. B…

CHIOMA VANESSA : A FASHIONPRENEUR MOTIVATED BY PASSION AND CREATIVITY TO CHART A PATHWAY

Chioma was that child that will send you hiding your clothes and wrappers far away from her reach for the fear that she will tear them in shreds out of the zeal of designing and making clothes. Her first skirt was made at the age of twelve. 
"Nobody taught me to sew, nobody close to me sews, I didn't even know it was a 6 pieces skirt I sewed till I finally went to a fashion school," She says with an air of humour. 


"I also made bags and a pair of slippers from an old Jean material that happened to be my old skirt. My mum marveled at the thought of Jean slippers then but now we see Jean slippers everywhere." She continues. 
Chioma Vanessa who prefers to go by the alias 'God's favourite daughter' is a graduate of the Federal University of Technology Owerri, an entrepreneur and the present CEO of Nessa Design and Stitches (NDS). A young Fashion and Designing outfit that not only makes great outfits but also runs mini fashion tutorials.

Her motivation …

SHOT ON TARGET: FISAYO ENJOYS THE BEST OF BOTH WORLDS, FOOTBALL AND PHOTOGRAPHY

I watched Fisayo click away on his camera between flashes of light. It was at an event about promoting Sustainable Development Goals (SDG's).

I checked some boxes after our interaction. He is industrious, a supporter of social good and very efficient. Call me a stalker of amazing young people and you won't be far from the truth.


Olufisayo Giwa popularly known as African Jaguar and Shot On Target is currently an elite footballer at The Future Academy in Lagos and also a photographer. He is the Creative Director and creative mind behind Shot On Target Pictures.  He practically takes shots on the field and off the field as a photographer.



He identifies as an ardent lover of God with a knack for providing solutions and creating a support system towards developing our country, Nigeria.

"As a kid, one of my favourite toys was a round plastic ball, I grew up having passion for football,.I played it everywhere and was nicknamed after football legend 'Jay-Jay Okocha' for …